casthewinchester: sammysbedhead: sammysbedhead: sammysbedhead: what does a tree do when it wants to leave its leaves WAIT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I RUINED THE WHOLE FUCKING JOKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ‘WHAT DOES A TREE DO WnHEN IT WANTS TO GO HOME’ I CANT EVEN TELL A JOKE RIGHT WOW THATS JUST PATHETIC Somehow this version is funnier.
cyanide123: sweetdez: detrea: fuckyeahhugsandkisses: a-little-insane: the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt The best part about the big spoon is that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I...
urbancatfitters: careful or u’ll trip over my low self esteem
valentinostclaire: Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
fuckyeahlaughters: i dont think people understand how lonely i am on facebook like everyone hates me seriosly
geeksotospeak: 99 percent of the times i see a cat, i have to drop whatever the hell i’m doing and acknowledge that there’s a cat and say hi to the cat and walk up to the cat and try to pet the cat
mountincest: school doesnt even test your intelligence it tests your memory
fevra: have u ever had a depersonalization moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and think wow this person is me and i have this body and this life and everything feels so strange ???? why i am me and not someone else
claydols: the first person to give birth musta been like HOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
sharonosbourne: saddeer: my printer can suck a dick what kind of printer do you have
fragilemoonbaby: no I will not make the first move I will not move at all carry me
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken...– George Bernard Shaw (via frowningclowns)
meladoodle: try to close someone’s eyes like a corpse when you’re bored of talking to them
suzy-cmi: i can go from cute to a pervert in exactly 0.2 seconds
bulletben: you know a lot of white kids like to say that the japanese do weird shit but right now japanese kids have this pretty cool trend where they fake dragonball fights while white kids have this trend where they
internetexplorers: imperfection-on-my-sleeve: anniedoesdeclare: crowleyplease: not-a-social-experiment: internetexplorers: does anyone actually know the lyrics to YMCA besides “it’s fun to be at the YMCA” young man theres no need to feel down i said young man Pick yourself off the ground stop it
emperorshatterfingers: coolscar: when you put a spoon under a running faucet and it does the thing man fuck the thing
movingtoparistoshootheroin: I always need more. More drugs More attention Always more.
attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
I literally have no idea what my personality is Like I go from being an arrogant bitch to a studious, conscientious hard-worker, to a lazy procrastinator, to an overly-emotional fangirl in a matter of seconds
nickelode0n: [cha cha slides away from responsibilities]
ofcarlileandmen: ma1iceinw0nder1and: c-ravinqs: kingforafuckingday: poptarter: talaem: “don’t be shy” thanks u cured me “just chill out” wow whered my anxiety go? “cheer up!” Oh wow, three years of depression, fixed! Just like that. “don’t be afraid!” look at that I’m fearless now “just stop cutting” wow thanks I no longer get the urge “just eat” damn, my eating disorder just...